Hello all,
I first need to apologize for being absent from my groups so much lately.
First, it was things were so busy and hectic between wedding preparations for
Nikki's wedding (may 29th), going to Nikki's bridal showers (3 so far on Feb
7th, Mar 6th, Mar 13th). There is actually a 'dinner' tonight. It was supposed
to be a co-ed 'Tool and Gadget' shower. Nikki's future mother-in-law (MIL) told
Nikki that her sister/sisters-in-law would like to do a shower for Nikki in
Montgomery, AL. That's where Jonathan's mom, stepdad, grandparents, and some
aunts and uncles live. It's not that far from Montevallo, AL, where Nikki and
Jonathan currently live - about 1 1/2 hours. However, it is about 4 hours from
where we live (along with most of Nikki's family). I'm getting off track.
Anyway, the MIL told Nikki that Jonathan's aunts would like to have a shower for
her. We (Nikki, MIL, and I) were sitting at my dining room table when the MIL
told her that. Nikki, being her VERY sweet, gracious. and polite self, said,
"Oh, that is so sweet that they want to do that for me. I really appreciate it.
I would kind of like for Jonathan to be included in one of the showers and maybe
do a co-ed 'Tool and Gadget' shower or something along those lines. Since it's
Jonathan's aunts hosting the shower in Montgomery, it might be nice to have that
one as a co-ed shower so Jonathan and some of his friends could be included."
That was almost word for word exactly what Nikki said. A couple of days later I
get an e-mail from the MIL saying that she DOES NOT want Nikki DICTATING to her
sister/sister-in-laws about how the shower is done. She tried to soften the
blow by saying, 'she just wants it to be a suprise for Nikki and it won't be a
suprise if Nikki tells them how to do everything at the shower'. Well, the MIL
once again blew her 'oh, so sweet - Nikki is my daughter, I love her just like I
love my boys' routine! First, she obviously doesn't know Nikki very well, even
though Nikki and Jonathan have been engaged for 2 1/2 years and dating each
other exclusively for over 3 years. Nikki is VERY big on etiquette and doing
what is polite and socially correct. She would NEVER 'dictate' to anyone kind
enough to throw a shower or anything else in her honor! But, Nikki is the
bride and I do think that asking her what she might like, what day/time might
work best for her Jonathan and the people they'd like to invite, might actually
be a good idea since Nikki is the bride and Jonathan is the groom! However,
Nikki handled it all with the true grace that she handles most everything. She
is a young woman with class and I am so very proud of her! Nikki and Jonathan
did nothing other than provide a list of who they would like to invite to the
Montgomery co-ed 'shower'. The only friends they invited were Jonathan's
groomsmen (and their wives or girlfriends) and a couple other guy friends since
all of Nikki's girlfriends were invited to the previous shower in Montevallo.
Back to the Montgomery shower, Nikki and Jonathan were never even consulted on
the date/time. They were just told that the 'shower' would be at 5 p.m on Sat,
Mar 20th. Nikki said it was a good thing they neither she or Jonathan had
sorority/fraternity events on that day because there are many events that if you
miss, you have to pay a hefty fine (typically $50 to $100!). The MIL said they
chose to have the 'shower' from 5-7:30 p.m. because she figured that would not
be too late for family from the Huntsville/Athens, AL area to drive home. I
don't know what planet she's on, but Bud and I, nor do my other family members
have any desire to start a four hour drive home around 8 p.m. Anyway, that
wasn't such a big deal, we decided we'd just stay in a motel overnight, have
b'fast with Nikki and Jonathan the next morning and then head home. The main
thing was just that we all felt it was in very poor taste to not bother to
consult Nikki or Jonathan on the date/time. Then, we got the invitations in the
mail and the invitation said,
'Hacienda and Jardin
Mexican Fiesta Dinner
honoring
Nikki Jones and Jonathan Colwell'
It gave the time and place, listed all 8 of Jonathan's aunts, uncles, and his
grandmother/grandfather as host/hostess. Nowhere on the invitation did it
indicate in any way that it was a shower. Maybe my family and I are socially
retarded, but everyone that looked at the invitation as said, "Oh, so it's a
dinner and not a shower? We're not supposed to bring a gift?" With my family,
I told them that it was still supposed to be a shower and that any gifts would
be greatly appreciated but they certainly didn't need to feel obligated. Nikki
was pretty upset at first, not at the thought of not getting gifts, but at the
thought that some of Jonathan's friends may think the same thing my family (and
Nikki's room mate/bridesmaid) thought and not know to bring a gift and then end
up embarrassed when they see that some people did bring gifts. I told Nikki she
had no control over that and that if that did happen, she was just to tell the
friend, "Oh, no, gifts were not expected and you shouldn't feel the least bit
bad about not bringing a gift. They only gift expected was your presence and
we're so thankful you took time to help us celebrate." Once I helped her find a
way to gracefully alleviate any potential embarrassment for her friends, she was
fine. However, none of us were very happy about the whole event! Oh, I know
that it is improper etiquette to ask for specific gifts when sending out
invitations for showers, b'day parties, etc. However, with both baby and bridal
showers, it is now considered perfectly acceptable to list where the couple is
registered at for gifts. This is NOT okay with the wedding invitations, though!
Anyway, no mention was made at all as to where Nikki and Jonathan are registered
at. Okay, enough of that. Nikki is now doing wonderfully in dealing with her
future in-laws, but we do have to have bitch sessions on a regular basis.
However, Nikki has enough grace, class, and love for Jonathan to do what is
right. She knows it is best for Jonathan to be able to have a relationship with
his family, so for the most part Nikki just gripes to me or my sis when she gets
frustrated!
Nikki has one more shower after the one tonight. It will be on Apr 4th at our
church and will be hosted by two of my mom's friends, plus one of the teens at
the church. My stepdad works with the youth and they have all adopted my mom
and stepdad as surrogate grandparents.
After Nikki's last shower, I'm hosting a shower on Apr 17th for my friend's
daughter who is getting married on June 19th, 3 weeks after Nikki and Jonathan's
wedding (May 29th). I'll also be hosting the bridesmaid's tea on Saturday, May
22nd.
Anyway, as you can imagine, things have been quite busy for me lately. When you
add in doctor's appts, time in the hospital, and just days of not feeling like
doing anything, there is just not a lot of time left for the computer.
Just to make things even more interesting, I decided I'd throw in a little TIA
on Wednesday morning! As some of you may know, I was recently diagnosed with an
Immunoglobulin deficiency, IgG deficiency to be exact. My sis has it and has to
get monthly IV supplements. They tested me simply because my sis has it and we
have a lot in common! Anyway, don't know if my IgG deficiency is caused by a
genetic problem (as my sister's is) but I was supposed to see the hematologist
for the first time on Wednesday. My sis and I were to go together because she
doesn't feel well after the treatments and gets a really bad headache. The doc
is in B'ham, which is 100 miles south.
My sis got here right at 7 a.m. and I was at the computer, just reading e-mails,
not typing. Time had gotten away from me, so when I realized she was here, I
jumped up from the computer to grab my shoes, etc, so we could hit the road.
When I got up, I realized my left arm and hand was totally numb. I tried moving
my arm, rubbing it, everything I could think of and nothing would help. Then my
left hand begun pulling inward and I had to really fight to keep it from doing
that. My left hand was totally useless as far as trying to do anything with it.
My husband was sitting on the edge of the bed (I'd just woken him up) and I'm
standing there almost yelling at him for him to do something to make my arm and
hand quit 'doing this'! He said something about that I needed to tell my sister
that I was having trouble and it'd be a few minutes before I could be ready to
go. I yelled at Bud and told him to get his a** out of the bed, put on some
pants and go get my sister and tell her I could not use my friggin' arm! He got
up then and got her. About that same time, I was all of a sudden absolutely
freezing. My sis got me in the bed covered up and then immediately picked up
the phone and called my internal med doc, Dr. Wyatt. He called back within
minutes and Bud told him what was happening. He told Bud to get me to the ER
immediately. I then insisted that my sis go ahead and head to B'ham so she
didn't miss her appt for the supplements. She promised if she didn't feel like
driving home by herself she'd call Nikki (who is only30 miles south of B'ham).
Shortly after she left, it became almost impossible to keep my hand from drawing
inward and I just began feeling more weird. I told my husband I had to go to
the hospital in Huntsville (45 minutes away) because there is not even a
neurologist in Athens (the town we live in) or one that comes to our local
hospital. I also told Bud that I really thought we needed to call an ambulance
because I felt like everything was getting worse. He just kept insisting that
we didn't need to call an ambulance and that he would take me to the hospital.
Typically, I prefer Crestwood Hospital in Huntsville. It is a smaller, private
hospital and I always received excellent care. However, I knew that if I was
having a stroke that action needed to be taken quickly. I called Bud's sister,
who was a nurse many years ago, and who also has major heart problems. She
doesn't like Huntsville Hospital, but she knows that when she's having heart
problems, it is the best place for her to be. She said with a possible stroke,
I needed to be at Hsv Hospital, so that's where we went. While we were on the
way, I got really ticked at Bud for refusing to call an ambulance. My vision
got cloudy for a minute or so and then I had trouble getting my words out and I
couldn't remember a very simple common word on a few occasions. Thankfully,
those symptoms didn't last long. We finally got to Hsv Hospital. I honestly
thought I was in the waiting room for at least an hour before they got me to a
treatment room. Bud swears it was 15 minutes max and that he couldn't
understand why I was getting so aggitated and saying that I wanted to leave and
go to Crestwood because it was ridiculous to have to wait so long. He swears
that from the time he walked in (just a few minutes after me since he had to
park the car) to the time they had me in a treatment room was just a matter of
minutes. It honestly felt like at least an hour to me!
They did all the standard tests and my internal med doc came by the ER around
lunch time to check on me. The labs and ct scan were normal, but the ER doc and
my doc said they felt sure I'd had a TIA. My doc said he was just going to
admit me for 24 hour observation and call in a neurologist. That afternoon the
neurologist came by. I had already improved greatly by then, but still had a
major difference in my right and left hand/arm. Also, there was a pretty big
difference in my right leg/foot vs left leg/foot, which I didn't even notice
until the doctor and nurses checked. The neurologist also said there was a very
slight drooping on the left side of my face. He said he wanted to do several
tests.
Thursday morning, Dr. Wyatt came in and said he was converting me to a 'regular
admission', which I took to mean that I would not be going home on Thursday! On
Thursday, they did an echocardiogram of my heart, doppler ultrasound of my
carotid arteries, x-rays of my neck just to make sure there wasn't something
going on to cause a pinched nerve, an MRI and MRA of my brain. On Friday
morning, Dr. Wyatt came in and said that all the tests were fine, but they were
sure I'd had a TIA. My INR was 2.3 and he first said that was okay, then said,
on second thought, he really wanted it up to about 3.0. I was on 7 mg of
coumadin on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and then 7.5 mg of coumadin on
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dr. Wyatt told me to increase the
coumadin to 7.5 mg every day and to see him in a week. The nurse on the neuro
unit told me that she felt sure they would want me to be followed by the
neurologist from now on and they would want him to manage my coumadin level.
However, I never even saw the neurologist after all my test results were back
and when I was discharged Friday, there was no mention of seeing the neuro doc
again.
My husband said, so basically all they are doing different is upping your
coumadin .5 mg 3 times a week? He said he didn't know if he was happy with
that. I told him I didn't know if I was happy with it or not. I told him I
intend to totally educate myself on strokes and TIAs prior to my appt with Dr.
Wyatt on Friday. I will also probably request to have a followup appt with the
neuro. I know that a TIA is not a stroke, although, it's often called a min
stroke. However, I also know that a TIA can be a major warning sign, especially
with someone who has a known clotting disorder and is already a pretty decent
dose of blood thinners!
I got home from the hospital around 4 p.m. on Friday. We were supposed to leave
around noon today to go to the 'dinner' in Montgomery. I wrapped all the gifts,
packed my close, and all the other stuff you have to do prior to going out of
town. At this point, I had not even told Nikki about the TIA or even about me
being in the hospital. I just prayed she would not call while I was in the
hospital. Thankfully, she did not. She is sooo busy with school. She gets her
BA degree in English on May 8th. However, she's getting a masters in Education
and English and has already begun taking master's level education classes. She
is spending 2-4 full days a week in the middle school classroom and is already
having to do actual teaching. I'm glad she's having so much exposure to the
real world classroom. She'll be much better prepared to be a teacher when she
does get her master's in Aug 05. However, in addition to all the classroom
time, she still has her other classes and she's working part time at the
university writing lab. She worries so much about me and I just feel like she
has enough stress on her right now. I was going to tell her about it all on
Sunday on the way home. She's on spring break next week, so she was going to
ride home with us on Sunday. Jonathan will come up Monday evening and stay til
Thursday, so she can ride home with him instead of having to have two cars here.
We have two cars and a truck, so she can use one of our cars if she needs to.
After finally getting everything together Friday evening, so we wouldn't have
too much to do today prior to leaving for the dinner, I sat at the computer and
just sent a couple of short e-mails. I immediately realized my left hand still
doesn't work 100%. The numbness got worse with just a few minutes on the
computer. I also realize how utterly exhausted I am. So, I called Nikki, told
her everything that was going on and told her that I just wasn't going to be
able to come to the dinner. She immediately fussed at me for not telling her
what was going on. She told me that she can handle it and that I need to quit
trying to shield her from the truth. She told me that I absolutely was NOT to
come to the dinner because I mattered a whole lot more than a stupid dinner.
She is such an awesome young woman. She made me promise that I would keep
trying to hide things from her. That will be hard, but I'll do my best. I just
feel like she should not have to worry about her mom at this point in her life.
I did make her promise that she will still come home for spring break. My sis
and hubby are going to the dinner. They are spending the night in a motel and
my nephew, Michael - 7, is spending the night with Nikki. He was really jazzed
as he adores Nikki and has never gotten to spend the night with her because she
is 130 miles south of here. So, Nikki said she will ride home with my sis and
brother-in-law tomorrow. I promised her that I would let her take care of most
of the wedding things that need to be done next week and that I will mostly just
rest. I told her I might do a couple of things with her just to get out of the
house, but other than that, I will rest.
Well, didn't intend to write a book, but then I never do. I know many of you
have experience with strokes and TIA's. Any good sites or info would be greatly
appreciated. One question I have right now is that my left forearm is really
sore. It almost feels like when you've overused muscles, such as maybe painting
when you're not used to it. I haven't over used my arm but the nurses and
doctors did tell me to make myself use it as much as possible because that was
the best way to get back my strength and motor skills. I'm just wondering if
making myself use it, when the arm/hand really didn't want to be used could
cause some muscle strain. If so, would moist heat be helpful?
Any info anyone can share would be greatly appreciated. By the way, I had to
just delete all the e-mails from my groups because I had so many it was too
overwhelming to even look at. Please know that even though I've had to miss
many e-mails over the last few weeks, you're all in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen